Last weekend was my husband’s fortieth birthday, while we celebrated him with apple pie, it occurred to me that my blog has officially been around for a decade. The idea to share my life and the gospel through words began around the time my husband turned thirty. I maybe even pressed publish for the first time on his actual birthday.
At that point in time, I had decided to step back from discipling youth group girls in our local church and focus on my family. I had three boys three and under—my hands were full and every customer in Target reminded me of this deeply felt truth when I pushed a cart full of babies through the store. Simply running out for milk was an Olympic-level event in this season. Stepping out of volunteer ministry was necessary in order to be a life-giver to my family at home.
Because running errands was an Olympic-level event, I built Olympic-level rhythms of rest into our daily routine. My boys played hard, then napped consistently for two and a half hours every afternoon and lights were out for the night by 7pm. My husband was in a season of ministry when he was out most evenings of the week—after tucking the boys in, I had a lot of time alone to read my Bible, pray, and journal. After months of journaling, I recognized a longing in my heart to still share my life and the gospel with others.
Which led me to start a blogging ministry!
It was a crazy idea and I had no idea if it would reach anyone. I wasn’t an excellent writer, I only applied to colleges that did not require an essay. When I began to blog, I was committed to two things: sharing what was honestly on my heart and pointing others to the hope of the gospel. I wanted to put my messy words and my messy life out there to show others the Christian life isn’t a calling to live every moment perfectly, but an invitation to rest in the One who is perfect amidst the chaos of everyday life.
A decade of blogging has taught me that I do my best editing after I press the publish button. No matter how many times I preview a post and reread it, I always seem to miss something. This has absolutely rubbed up against my perfectionist tendencies! However, over the years, embracing the fact that written work is never perfect and putting imperfect work out into the world taught me to (1) embrace the editing process and (2) unraveled my heart a bit from being a slave to my idol of perfectionism.
Secondly, putting honest, imperfect work out into the world takes courage and Christ-confidence. Over the years, readers have been highly critical. At times, I have read some incredibly unkind comments on my posts and people in my circles of influence have suggested that it would be wise for me to stop blogging all together.
While these moments have been painful, they have also exposed a fallen desire in my heart to want to please everyone. I am a people person and I want others to like me—which is a good desire—but my ultimate desire must be to serve God alone with my writing. I am confident God knows my heart and I know it is true that God sees me—this is what gives me the courage to keep writing even when I have received critical feedback. I have learned to remind myself that even though I am sending words out into the world, my writing is for an audience of One.
It is amazing to look back and see all God has done in a decade. In 2013 we added a girl to our family, Michael was called to be the lead pastor at our former church in 2015, my writing turned into a book in 2019, I had an opportunity to serve on our denomination’s National Women’s Ministry Team, and I have gotten to travel to several churches to share my life and the gospel.
There have been several highs and several lows. I have written about two miscarriages, wrestling with anxiety, walking through my preventative double mastectomy in 2018, and in 2020 we were called to a heartbreakingly difficult season of ministry which led to our relocation to South Carolina.
In the good and the painful, writing about these events has helped me not only process them, but served as a stark reminder to look up and see a bigger picture. Life contains seasons of joy and seasons of suffering. But God’s presence is an unwavering hope I can always cling to—and He uses all of it to reflect His glory “against the somber background of the broken world” (paraphrased, Stott). Sometimes I am walking gracefully and sometimes I am simply stumbling along, but whether I am weak or strong, His power is perfectly displayed (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Many of you have encouraged me to keep writing and I have needed you on the journey.
Can you believe it has been ten years?
I am grateful.
I am not blogging on my personal blog as often as I did in the beginning, but many of you still continue to read, reach out, and encourage. Sharing in this space has been hard at times and I know there are many times I wanted to quit, but your encouragements and willingness to connect have kept me going. I know I don’t always respond back to every comment or message, but I do read each and every word sent my way.
I am in awe of how this not-so-perfect place has turned into a ministry and given me opportunities to serve far beyond all I could ask or think. Two published books: Slowly Unraveled and Knowing His Great Name, a Children’s Book (His Name is Great) coming soon, and the opportunity to travel and meet like-minded friends through speaking engagements all started here ten years ago.
God has used you, the reader, and it has been a joy to partner with you.
Who knows what God with do with the next ten years?