It’s Mother’s Day and almost my birthday so I’ve been reflecting a little about my life over the past fifty-two weeks.
All I have done is move and have a baby.
Really that’s it.
I have hardly volunteered in my boys’ preschool classrooms.
The family devotional time I mapped out in July for the next two years has not worked out the way I thought at all.
I forgot to take my kids to the pumpkin patch.
I didn’t send out a Christmas card.
I traveled to a wedding instead of attending my son’s Mother’s Day program.
I’ve grumbled. I’ve complained. I’ve whined. I’ve even yelled and had epic tantrums complete with slamming the cabinet doors in the kitchen.
I haven’t even had my new baby girl professionally photographed yet and she is five months old.
So upon reflecting on the last fifty-two weeks I have come to this conclusion: I just didn’t measure up this year. Not even close.
I’m not at all feeling like the woman that is worthy of praise from Proverbs 31 and I’m not sure my children would call me blessed.
I am weary.
I’m not sure why anyone would even want to celebrate me for “all the things I do” when I feel like I am up to my eyebrows of momma hood and just barely hanging on with my unmanicured fingernails.
But there are glimpses of how His grace covers the unachievable expectations I have for myself if I pay close enough attention to the moments where God reveals my worth as a momma isn’t at all about what I do but simply who I am.
When I see my daughter smile at me with her whole body. She doesn’t care that I haven’t gotten around to that professional photo shoot.
When feel my three year old’s hand reach for my hand and then he clings close to my leg in his classroom. He has no idea that we missed the pumpkin patch in the fall.
When I hear my two year old call out for me, “Hold You,” is what he calls me as he grazes around me when I whirl around in the kitchen.
When I experience the sweet, innocent forgiveness or my five year old after all my weary tired yells, “I forgive you mommy, we all make mistakes.”
So for all you weary mommas forget about all those unachievable expectations.
Don’t hold them under the magnifying glass in the same way I do. Give yourself the same grace given to you by those little ones who call you momma.
Give yourself the same grace that God gives to you in Jesus.
Exhale the unachievable expectations and inhale the grace.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
The best gift I can give myself is forget about the things I didn’t get to. To forget the blah and remember the praiseworthy.
It’s a fight for this weary momma to dwell on what is excellent and praiseworthy.
But God is good to me and His grace covers my weary soul.
“Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”