Seventeen years ago on Tuesday night of my spring break freshman year, April 7, 1998, I lost my mother and I will never be the same.
For a little while I was her daughter. She was the first one to hold me, she was the first one to kiss my boo-boos and the one to tuck me in at night.
She was my safe place when I had a bad dream in the darkest of nights and the one who knew all the places where I felt ticklish.
For a little while I had the privilege to be her daughter in this life.
For a little while I had the privilege to let my mother hold me.
To hear her laugh.
To see her smile.
To experience her love of life.
I never appreciated the role of being her daughter while I had the chance. I’m a stubborn one who always wanted to grow up too quick. But in time all things unravel and I can see now, seventeen years later, how sweet it was to be her daughter even if it only lasted a short fourteen years.
It was so sweet to be her daughter for a little while. Even though we battled one another in my teenage years I was never unsure of her love. I knew her love for me was unchanging no matter the circumstance.
She loved me at my best and she loved me at my worst.
I am thankful for the time I had to be her daughter and thankful how God has used that time with her to make me into the mother I am today.
I try to pass on the incredible woman she was, my own four children will never get to hear her laugh or see her smile. I can only try to pass on the incredible woman she was and the memories I have of her.
I could never be even close to the woman she was. Not even close. She was so much wiser, stronger and carefree. And cool. But I can pass on the good parts of her as best as I can.
I am learning to be more like her. To laugh more and complain less. And to love while I have the privilege of being a mother myself with a BIG love.
I am thankful for the privilege to be her daughter. Even if it was only for a little while.
I am better because of that time.
The impact of her life and the good of the woman she was will live on through me forever.
I am thankful to have been her daughter even if it was only for a little while.