My Husband’s Birthday

October 7, 2013February 5, 2014Leave a comment

I have read stories of husbands and wives going on weekend trips to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries.

My heart longs with envy when I read of these things. We live a much more simple life here in this house and weekend getaways just are not a reality for us right now.

We have lots of kids, all under five and we are expecting number four in about two months so finding someone willing to even stay with our kids is challenging – not to mention a pregnant lady in her third trimester would not be the best weekend getaway buddy.

So the weekend getaway was not going to happen for us this year on my husband’s birthday.

i thought of things that he might like but decided we don’t really need another gadget or tool around here.

So I went back to the basics and I came up with the perfect idea for my husband’s birthday.

Fourteen planned, paid for and babysitter arranged date nights.

It’s basic, simple, perfect and aligns with our family goals for the year. My husband have been working hard to get away from the kids and enjoy one another weekly for the sake of our marriage.

With all these babies around us it has been difficult to connect as husband and wife without the titles of mommy and daddy. I knew he would appreciate planned date nights for the next four months.

When I told the kids about my husband’s present they wanted to join in on the fun too. So I planned a free activity for each of them to have one on one time with their dad and they each will get to have a meal with my husband at their favorite fast food establishment.

i started planning about three weeks ago. I looked at our calendars and made a list of dates.

I then emailed a long list of kind hearted friends and family members to sign up for free babysitting. This is truly a collaborative effort and with the exception of two dates being covered by my husband’s sister the other twelve were quickly filled by friends from church.

Finally I went out to get the gift cards. Each envelope has a gift card or cash enclosed based on what we are doing. I tried to buy all the gift cards at Kroger and I purchased the local small business gift cards with cash so my husband couldn’t track my spending.

And there you have it. Date nights set for the next four months even with a new baby coming in the middle of all of it.

This only cost a little under 300 dollars. Like I said we live a pretTy simple life.

Happy Birthday to my husband and cheers to my married life with him.

Find more to the story here… I love to write about “Redeeming Date Night.”

How Saying No Is Leading Me To More Yes

September 11, 2013March 13, 20151 Comment

If you have happened to cross my path in the last ten years you might have seen a whirling tornado of lists and calendars and book studies swoop by you. For the past decade I have immersed myself in busyness; being involved help me feel in control and together.

The more involved I was in activities on campus, at work or in the church the more I felt in control of my moment by moment. If I planned out every second there were no surprises and I kind of like it that way.

My involvement in just about everything not only gave me control of my moment by moment but it also gave me significance.

“Doing” has become a god for me and little by little I have found myself finding my ultimate significance in my successes and failures.

Just to give you a small picture of what this tornado of lists and calendars and books studies looks like- here are a few of the things I said yes to last year.

My God
My marriage
My three sons aged 3, 2 and 1
Women’s bible study
A mentoring opportunity with an older woman
Leading a discipleship group of 15 faithful and godly young women
One on one discipleship with a sweet friend
Teaching Sunday School to preschoolers
Classroom Coordinator at Preschool
Women’s Retreat Planning Leadership Team
Trained for a half marathon
Started a blog

Okay, seriously, right? I know it looks crazy but once you sit down and write all the things down that you commit yourself to in a year it can look overwhelming.

I know you probably do just as much as I do.

So what?

Well, I have a distorted view of myself and my gospel. I have made my involvement big and my God small. My pendulum swings too hard when I rise and fall.

I want to be steady when the waves come and still be steady even if the waves don’t come at all.

This year I am saying no to all of it- obviously with the exception of the first three: My God, my marriage and my sons.

This was so hard especially when there was a ministry fair at our church and I could see myself walking down to the rows of tables and writing my name on every sign up sheet.

Or when I am not really sure if there will be someone to step in and lead this group of fifteen faithful young women and I love them and want them to continue to grow in the knowledge of God.

It is tempting for me to get involved. To be in control. To have my hands holding up the world instead of letting go and trusting that it is God who holds up the world.

So I am saying no.

So I am going to stop doing.

I am going to make myself small so God can be big.

It seems both insane and lazy to me but I really think believing the gospel for me this year requires me to let go of everything and trust in the One Who is before all things and in Whom (not in Rachel) all things hold together. (Colossians 1:16)

Saying no will be a step of faith- to trust that I don’t keep my world from spinning around and I am not in control of my moment by moment.

Saying no will help me see that I do not begin and end any ministry. It is only the Alpha and Omega Who is the beginning and the end.

This year I hope saying no will allow me to say yes.

Yes to my big God who is pleased with me when my name isn’t on any sign up sheets.

Yes to my husband who is most likely tired of receiving leftovers from me because I am giving my best to everyone else and yes to more date nights.

Yes to my sons. Less putting them to bed early so I can lead a bible study or dragging them to nursery care so I can be involved in women’s bible study. Yes to their spiritual health and family devotional times around our kitchen table. Yes to discipline that is consistent and loving instead of exhausted and impatient.

Yes to my daughter arriving in December and yes to enjoying my last round of late nights feeding her and caring for her.

Yes to being available to be a better friend.

This year I feel a call to be still. (Psalm 46:10)

I am making myself small and trying to break the cistern.

I can already hear a loud exhale as I stop trying to hold up my world. Stopping everything is leading me to see Christ more clearly and giving me freedom to say yes to the most important things God has given to me.

My sweet family

You can pray for me as I take on this “year of just saying no.” Sneaky and tempting opportunities to get involved will be coming my way like wolves in sheep’s clothing.

You can also make a list of all the things you say yes to in a calendar year. Where is God calling you to make yourself small so you can see that He is big?

Please share this on Facebook and Twitter with your friends. Maybe someone else out there needs to hear that God is pleased with them even when their name is not on a sign up sheet.

He holds up the world- not us.

Make Serving More Simple

March 25, 2013July 27, 20151 Comment

Years ago I remember seeing the emails in my inbox from our church about providing meals for members of my church family. Back then, a small wave of panic would was over me.

I wanted to serve but the task of adding something to my already full plate left me feeling overwhelmed. My worst enemy (me) would justify my reasons not to sign up. I would tell myself things like: You are not the best cook and you are just too busy.

Years have passed from those days of insecurity and self justification and I now have had four c-sections in under a five year period.

I now know the great blessing of a homemade meal to a mother in need.

Over the years I have not transformed into Ina Garten and with four littles I am busier than ever but I have realized that the needs of a new mother or a sick mother are greater than my insecurites about my cooking or how busy I think I am.

Here is what is working for me.

I cook what I know. I have a recipe for chicken salad and I can make it in my sleep. It is easy and delicious, filled with fruit and our family can eat it for days on sandwich rolls, tortillas or crackers.

I cook what I can double or even triple. My family has to eat too so I just double the recipe and divide the chicken salad into two family sized portions. If there are two families in our church needing meals I always sign up to bring them meals on the same day. If I can double the recipe it is no big deal to triple it either.

I never ask for anything back. If you have ever been a new mom you know the details of thank you notes and returning items from church brought meals seem to only cross your mind during the middle of the night while you are awake with a newborn.

I have been a new mom too so I include a “no thank you note” disclaimer. The omission of the thank you note and the freedom to not worry about returning my Tupperware become part of the gift. I believe new moms should take the time spent on writing me a thank you note either holding their new precious babe, surviving or sleeping.

I have recently drafted this little note to attach to my “meal bags”

Upon eating this food you are agreeing to the following terms.

You will not return any returnable items in this bag or the bag itself but instead pay it forward by reusing the items next time you bring someone a meal.

You may absolutely not write a thank you note. This gift is an expression of me using my gifts for the glory of God. Instead of a note thank God in your prayers tonight. Thank you notes praise (wo)men, prayers praise the Only One worthy of praise.