In a few weeks I will be turning the corner from two to three with my third child.
Sometimes it feels terrible. Like today as I walked my sweet child into church, my husband’s place of business, and he shouted ” I am not a child of the Lord.” Over and over.
Sometimes it feels terrible to have a two year old.
The lines between baby and big kid are blurred.
They want to be independent but still need help at the same time.
It feels terrible and my heart aches for my littles at this stage. If it feels terrible for me, as a somewhat mature adult, I can only image how terrible it feels for a child who is crying face down on the ground.
Yes, they may be crying because they did not get to go to church naked or maybe you buckled their seat belt instead of them.
Mine likes to carry on if his blankets are not smoothed down in a particular way or the seams of his socks are not perfectly straight.
To us it feels ridiculous but their tears are telling you it is a big deal to them.
To this little human child in a big world there are things that are a big deal to them. It feels terrible to us but it is important to them.
I have been trying to be patient because it is my third time in this place of feeling terrible. I tried to leave extra time for my third son to buckle his own seatbelt without me getting flustered because I am worried about being late.
I try to understand him when his socks don’t feel right and his blankets are not straightened and tucked. (I am a tad more compassionate here because I am a similar particular human being.)
Sometimes it feels terrible to have this child, in between baby and big kid, carrying on about things that seem ridiculous to mature adults. I know.
I have walked in this three times. I have rolled my eyes. Raised my voice. I have lost my temper.
Even though it feels terrible and I think I know better, I still think we can be better as parents for our two year olds and beyond.
It feels terrible in this frustrating stage of parenting, but I think and I believe God is calling me to be better.
I believe God is calling me to grow as a parent instead of using the parachute of a passed on cliche.
Sometimes, parenting a two year old feels terrible however, I will not let my child conform to a cookie cutter cliche. I know that to God, my two year old matters. I know that to God, my two year old is important and I know that to God, the things that are important to my two year old are important to Him too.
I wish I wouldn’t let the cliche overshadow who my child is to God.
I wish in the moments of feeling terrible I would remember that God cares for me when I am losing my temper and crying on the floor about things that may seem ridiculous to Him.
I wish I could remember that even though it feels terrible to parent a two year old sometimes, I have a Father in heaven who is patient with me who could feel terrible about my tantrums but choses to love me instead. Just where I am.
Yes, having a two year old feels terrible. But maybe God is using this terrible stage to teach us to love others. Maybe God is showing us how He loves us when we are throwing ridiculous tantrums about things He knows are going to work out just fine.
Maybe God is calling us as parents to something better in the year of two.
Those precious babes are important to Him. And so are you.
Please read: Why The Twos Aren’t Terrible