The Night Before…

Tomorrow I will go in for my first Breast MRI. This is a routine, preventative MRI purely for early detection purposes.

I received the order for this MRI in January but I have been putting the whole thing off.

Today I am a thirty-two year old woman. Wonderfully married with four beautiful children. My oldest son loose toothed in first grade and my youngest daughter almost two.

Holding onto fear in the unknowns, I have held onto my order for an MRI in hopes that I could freeze time.

Twenty-five years ago my mother was a thirty-two year old woman. Wonderfully married with three beautiful children. Her oldest in first grade and her youngest two years old.

She found the first lump in her breast when she was thirty-two.

As I go in for my MRI tomorrow I am mostly confident that I am perfectly cancer free. However there are parts of me that find myself seeing my life following down the same path as hers.

I fear her story will be my story too.

And as faith and fear collide for me here on the night before my first big step towards preventative screening I just ask for your prayers.

Living in the night befores and waiting on the unknown pieces of my story are not my favorite places.

Tangled up in fear and even sometimes clinging to the worst possible outcomes.

Please if you think of me tomorrow just pray for me as I navigate the unknown.

Even though I know a great God, who knows the number of hairs on my head, tonight I feel afraid of what tomorrow could bring for me.

And I feel weak in faith.

Please pray with me if you think of me tomorrow, it will be a very emotional day. I’m already so tired.

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Thank you.

2 thoughts on “The Night Before…

  1. Kathy says:

    Reading this in the morning and hoping that you were able to rest in the Lord last night. I am praying for you Rachel, today as you navigate this unknown in your life…praying that God will walk right beside you, meeting your fear with His strength and peace. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

    Like

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