Tag: Marriage

Why I Have Been Politely Declining Your Dinner Invitation

5 Comments

For the last five years I have been politely declining dinner invitations to your home.

I know you have fabulous hospitality gifts and I want to eat your delicious dinners and scrape my fork on your gorgeous wedding dishes. I can picture your centerpiece, smell the candles and hear the hipster music playing in the background.

Then a loud, old-school record scratch wakes me up from the daydream of what I might think it would be like to come have dinner in your home. 

I remember one large very important detail.

I have small kids. Four small kids. 

DSC_0995-3

I love them to pieces. I love the dirt under their nails at the dinner table, their loud burps followed by their giggles and their ‘scuse mes, I love their spilled chocolate milks and the food that seems to end up mostly on the floor instead of in their sweet little baby mouths.

I love them to pieces.

However, I have politely been declining your dinner invitation for five years because of them.

Most nights collectively, my children spend ten minutes sitting at the table before asking to be excused and swirling off like tasmanian devils (cute and very loved tasmanian devils). We send them outside or in the basement just so my husband and I can hurry and shovel dinner in our own faces before some else needs us.

Just two weeks ago I ventured out to your home with my kids for a church picnic. In the hour and a half we were there one of my children kept peeing in their pants. He went through three changes of pants. Three. I was in the bathroom changing pee pee pants three times in the ninety minutes I was in your home. One time while exiting the bathroom I found another one of my children playing your piano with his chocolate covered hands. Just as my panic attack was beginning to my make neck tense up and my head shake someone spilled water on your arcade basketball game and maybe tried to ride your dog.

That’s right. It was time to go. I shuffled my children out the door, thank youed and apologized several times while bringing my three pairs of pee pee pants home in my purse. 

Just two nights later another you invited us over for dinner. I accepted thinking we may be able to have a decent time. Your family also has four kids so I thought we may be able to make it through the evening without the pee pee pants or my tense neck and shaking head.

We almost made it until my two year old began stripping all his clothes off down to his nude birthday suit on your back deck. My infant was crying and exhausted so I tried nursing her upstairs in your master bedroom but my baby kept screaming. She wanted her swaddle and she wanted her bed.

And lastly. We didn’t have pee pee pants but one of my boys was too scared to ask to go to the bathroom with the big crowd so he just pooped in his underwear instead. This evening’s consellation was poopy pants in my purse. My child pooped his pants at your house.

We had a great time but the drama. Oh the drama my kids certainly like to save it for their mama. 

Last night, I invited you to my house for dinner instead. I thought in my own house I could control the poop and the pee and the chocolate covered fingers and faces. I thought while my kids played with their own toys I could look you in the eye and chat about your marriage, your job and ask you what God is teaching you. I thought maybe we could joke and laugh around my table of mismatched silverware and a bottle of red wine.

I love my kids to pieces but they brought slugs and caterpillars in from outside to show you at the table. I love them to pieces but two of them pooped in their pants together outside while playing in on the swing set. And then my oldest child barfed. Right in the middle of the kitchen, coating the hardwoods with the soup I just served everyone and reeking up the house so badly you couldn’t even smell that Yankee Candle I lit for you anymore.

I apologized again and thank youed you for coming as my kids blew kisses and chased your car down the road. They said, “See you soon” as they chased you.

Phew I thought. I don’t think I can do this again for a long time let alone soon the tension in my neck started to come as I thought about it.

I love my kids to pieces. But this is why I have politely been declining your dinner invitation for so long. It’s not how I feel about you, it’s how I feel about pee pee pants in your house. Maybe in a few years once we are beyond the pee pee pants and the strip shows can we look you and your husband in the eye and chat over dinner.

For now it will just have to be the hubs and I, shoveling the food in our mouths and living these crazy years with littles laughing together. We love them to pieces but we’ll keep them and their pee pee pants to ourselves at dinner time.

DSC_1148

Starter Freezer Meals

Leave a comment

The Starter List = 17 Dinners


Smoked Mozzarella and Tomato Meatloaf (2 nights of dinner) 

Everything goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

1 pound lean ground beef
1 pound lean ground turkey (I skipped this and doubled the beef)
1 sleeve low-sodium saltine crackers, crushed (I used breadcrumbs)
2 eggs, beaten
1 med yellow onion, diced
1 clove garlic, minced (or 1-2 tsp Garlic Galore blend)
1 tsp black pepper
4 Tbsp Wildtree Smoked Mozzarella and Tomato Blend or (you can use a package of Italian Dressing)

I will thaw this in the fridge and cook in the crockpot on low for 5-6 hours then top with ketchup for the last 30 minutes.

 

The Best Burgers EVER! (I divide and put into two separate bags making 2 dinners)

 Everything goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

2 pounds ground beef
1 tsp Wildtree Chipotle Lime Rub (OR 1 tsp Cajun Seasoning)
1 tsp Wildtree Rancher Steak Rub & Seasoning or substitute Ranch Dressing Dry Seasoning package

I will thaw in the fridge and then patty the burgers and cook in the skillet. Last month I made these sliders with bacon and muenster cheese on top. Delicious.


Easy Crock Pot pulled Pork (I divide and put into two separate bags making 2 dinners)

Everything goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

5-6 lb pork roast (boneless or bone in, either works!)
2 onions, thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups broth (beef, chicken, or vegetable)
salt & pepper

Cook on high for 6-8 hours, or until it’s falling apart and easy to shred. Enjoy!
**If you are freezing this recipe, just dump all the ingredients into the freezer bag and freeze. Allow to thaw overnight in the fridge, then just dump in the crockpot and cook 🙂

http://www.whoneedsacape.com

 

Cranberry Pork Tenderloin (2 dinners)

Everything goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

1 pork tenderloin (1 pound)
1 can (14 ounces) whole-berry cranberry sauce
1/2 cup orange juice
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground mustard
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

Sear tenderloin on all sides in a hot skillet. Then bake 45 minutes at 375.

http://www.tasteofhome.com

 

Applesauce Barbeque Chicken

 Everything goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/2 t ground pepper
2/3 cup chunky applesauce
2/3 cup BBQ sauce (I used Brown Sugar/Hickory)
2 T brown sugar
1 t chili powder

Thaw
Bake 375 for 30-40 minutes Serves 4.
http://www.whoneedsacape.com

 

Chicken Tacos (2 dinners)

Everything goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

3 Boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/4 cup taco seasoning

Dump into crockpot frozen
Add 1 cup water
Cook on high 4 hours

 

Beef Tortellini Soup (2 dinners) 

 Everything except tortellini and green beans goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/slow-cooker-beef-tortellini-soup/f09fea6a-6916-4cf2-ac97-b494c1832bd6

1lb cooked ground beef
1large onion, chopped (3/4 cup)
1large carrot, chopped (3/4 cup)
1medium stalk celery, chopped (1/2 cup)
2cloves garlic, finely chopped
1teaspoons sugar
1can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
2cans (10 1/2 oz each) condensed beef consommé
1teaspoon dried basil leaves
2cups frozen cheese-filled tortellini
1cup Green Giant® Valley Fresh Steamers™ frozen cut green beans

Thaw. Place everything in the crockpot on low for 8 hours. The last 30 minutes add cheese filled tortellini and green beans.


Chicken Tortilla Soup (2 dinners)

Everything with the exception of corn tortillas and vegetable oil goes in ziplock. Double bag and label with sharpie. 

1 pound shredded, cooked chicken

1 (15 ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes,
mashed
1 (10 ounce) can enchilada sauce
1 medium onion, chopped
1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chile
peppers
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups water
1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 bay leaf
1 (10 ounce) package frozen corn
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
7 corn tortillas
vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS:
1. Place chicken, tomatoes, enchilada sauce, onion, green chiles, and garlic into a slow cooker. Pour in water and chicken broth, and season with cumin, chili powder, salt, pepper, and bay leaf. Stir in corn and cilantro. Cover, and cook on Low setting for 6 to 8 hours or on High setting for 3 to 4 hours.
2. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
3. Lightly brush both sides of tortillas with oil. Cut tortillas into strips, then spread on a baking sheet.
4. Bake in preheated oven until crisp, about 10 to 15 minutes. To serve, sprinkle tortilla strips over soup.

via allrecipes.com

Italian Marinated Flank Steak (I buy a package at Costco of two flank steaks and divide into two bags)

2 Tbsp Wildtree Italian Salad Dressing Mix (or Italian dressing mix)
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
2-3 Tbsp Wildtree Roasted Garlic Grapeseed Oil (or olive oil)
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 pound beef flank steak
1 medium red bell pepper, sliced into thin strips
1 medium green bell pepper, sliced into thin strips
1 large yellow onion, sliced into thin strips

 

Why Gerber Is A Fine Choice

1 Comment

 

I sat there in the restaurant with my husband and four children praying for the sweet mercy of Jesus to rain down on us so we could enjoy a nice lunch out sans meltdowns.

When the server came to take our order I knew my five year old was going to order some kind of seafood.

He asked for the shrimp.

The waitress asked if he wanted them fried or grilled.

He wanted grilled.

The server then asked if he would like fries or vegetables.

He wanted vegetables.

I sat there amazed. My other two sons only want to eat fries and chicken nuggets and cookies. And dip. Lots of dip. I even saw one of them slurp their dip up the straw from across the table.

I wrinkle my nose when I hear someone saying that homemade baby food makes better eaters.

My first born child is the one who ate only gerber baby food. The non organic kind. I fed him fruits first, not vegetables.

This was exactly what you weren’t supposed to do! But I was a new mom and trying to figure this new little baby out. I did not have time to make homemade baby food.

Everything your supposed to do to create a “good eater” I skipped or did backwards and here he is making great independent choices despite what was on his spoon when he was six months old.

I used to feel tremendous guilt over the store bought baby food. I was ashamed of my mothering and I had visions of my first born growing up to only eat donuts and happy meals.

Eating store bought baby food didn’t mess him up too bad at all. My first born is a great eater. He has been known to go into a panic at bedtime if he realizes I failed to let him have fresh fruit that day and has also been known to request a salad in the drive thru at Wendy’s.

My other two sons, the ones who love fries, chicken nuggets and cookies were fed all organic homemade baby food. Yep. All that hard work of grinding and blending and freezing to start them off on the right foot and they’re the ones slurping the barbecue sauce up their straws.

 

Same with the diapers. I’ve heard it rumored that cloth diapered children are easier to potty train.

My oldest son wore pampers for every single diaper change until he was twenty-five months. He was potty trained in about two weeks. Even overnight he rarely needed a pull up. He was completely diaper free well before two and a half.

My other two have both worn fuzzi bunz cloth diapers. (Which I love.) However, my three and a half year old still loves to poop in his diaper. He really does. Loves it. He tells me he loves it too.

So I am here to testify that I think our kids are going to be themselves no matter what efforts we go to when they are little.

There are myths that say homemade baby food produces better eaters and cloth diapering makes potty training easier.

It is true both save money. It’s true both are better for our environment. But I wouldn’t give homemade baby food or cloth diapers any more credit than that.

image

As parents we sometimes hold on too tightly to the latest trend and work ourselves to death grinding out that organic baby food or washing mountains of poopy diapers because we’ve heard the myths.

Our kids are going to be who God made them to be no matter what. One choice is not better than the other. They are just different choices. My gerber baby just ordered a healthier lunch than I did at a restaurant and frequently requests salads at the drive thru at Wendy’s. (I’m thirty and I never go to Wendy’s for their salads.)

Nothing I have done has taught him to eat the way he does. It’s who he is.

If your fretting about the cloth diapers and homemade baby food, forget about it. It is great for saving some money but your child will not be a horrible eater or a delayed potty trainer if you opt for gerber and pampers on your registry instead of the homemade baby food maker and cloth diapering starter kit.

Give yourself grace.

Pampers and gerber are great, healthy, normal choices for babies.

My gerber baby is doing just fine.

My other two, I’m afraid. We need to work on slurping the condiments up the straws thing.

And who knows what my fourth child will be like. She’s been eating gerber thus far because I am just too tired to add one more extra thing to my agenda.

The difference this time around is, she can eat the gerber and I have freedom from my guilt because I know she will be just fine no matter what her first foods might be.

I am praying for the sweet mercy of Jesus she will be potty trained before three and a half. I’m about to lose my mind with potty training my second child.

This post is just based on my experience with my four kids five and under. Your story may be different and that’s okay. Neither choice is better or worse. Just different.

The Tremor Of Her

10 Comments

I miss her.

Every day.

Every moment.

When I see my sons holding my baby daughter’s face in their little toddler hands – When I am holding a grudge against my husband and digging my heels in the sand because I am right about where that couch should go and he is wrong- I miss her.

mom

Recently I have noticed little ways of how I seem to be becoming more and more like her. How even though she is gone I can feel the tremor of her in my moments. Every day.

Lately I have found myself saying and doing things the same way she used to. When you are younger you never think you will become your mother. But you do.

Her voice tremors through mine even when I least expect it.

Even though I miss her, I believe she lives on in me and I am thankful to be able to share her wise and crazy quirks with my sons and my daughter with hopes they will someday feel the tremor of her in their stories as well.

mom2

That secret stash of chocolates I have in my pantry reminds me of her. She used to hide snickers bars in the freezer.

She used to sing “another one bites the dust” when one of my siblings fell asleep. When I was a child I thought this was a cruel way to respond to your babes falling asleep but now I find myself bom-bom-bomming along to that same tune as my children nod off in the evening.

The words, “I’ll give you something to cry about” have come out of my mouth when my children are crying because they can’t find their eyebrows or their bath time is too wet. Again, cruel words I swore I would never say now make a completely acceptable and appropriate phrase to pass on to my children.

I have dinner on the table almost every night at 6pm on the dot. This annoyed me as a child but now it is a part of the rhythm and routine of my daily life.

I feel the tremor of her when I make her poppyseed bread at Christmas.

I feel the tremor of her when I huddle all my kids and my husband together for a “hunga bunga” which is a completely embarrassing group hug where the whole family jumps up and down while chanting “hunga bunga.”

I play rummy like her and taught my husband. I despise cooking and do anything I can to make it as easy as possible.

Every birthday party is special for my kids just like she made birthdays special for me.

I am grateful for a season where I can move beyond the feelings of sadness and anger that go along with my grief. In the seasons of sadness and anger it is too hard to find the simple and joyful ways how the fourteen years I had with her have impacted me for a lifetime.

I know through the years the Lord will continue to reveal more ways of how she is a significant part of my story.

mom3

I am thankful my children can experience their grandmother through the simple ways she lives on through me and I pray even though they never knew her my kids will feel the tremor of her in their stories for years to come and maybe years from now they will bom bom bom along as their own children “bite the dust” for the evening.

BreastCancerRibbon

My mom lost her seven year battle with breast cancer sixteen years ago this week. If you have a memory of her please share it here in the comments. I know it would bless my siblings and I greatly to hear about more joyful memories of her and you might help us discover more ways we can feel the tremor of her in our lives as adults.

 

I Hope You Don’t Find Perfect Love…

5 Comments

As a young woman I saw perfect loves in the movies and heard of perfect love stories in ballads on my radio in my hatchback manual Saab.

The idea of a perfect love brainwashed me into thinking all my relationships would be saturated with whisk-me-away-romantic moments. I really at my core believed if I ever had a dispute with one of the men in my life it would only be moments before they would show up on my doorstep (in the rain of course) with an I’m-sorry-bouquet of flowers.

And that NEVER happened.

Darn love stories.

Darn love songs.

In a way I was disappointed.

My expectations gave me a twisted view of myself and others.

I was naive. My expectations for this so called perfect love ruined any relationship I ever had.

How could any of my boyfriends ever have competed with the image I had in my head-comparing them to a soaked and sexy Ryan Gosling  on my front doorstep with a drippy bouquet of flowers and begging of my forgiveness?

What I was seeing on the screen and hearing on the radio built up my expectations for perfect love and left me waiting in my home for ‘no one’ soaking wet with a bouquet of hydrangeas at my front door.

I was left questioning all the moves of my significant others. If my boyfriends couldn’t execute love like in the movies and the characters I compared them to I became suspicious of men…suspicious of perfect love… I became suspicious of myself.

I began to believe lies that I just wasn’t good enough for a perfect love and believed that maybe I didn’t deserve love at all.

The combination of all of the above became very dangerous for me and like a ticking time bomb my expectations literally blew up every relationship I had.

I would like to point the finger at culture and the misrepresentation of perfect love on the radio and displayed on the screens we hold in our hands.

However, I think the real person to blame is me and how I visualized love as being perfect right from the beginning.

flowers

Perfect:

: having no mistakes or flaws

: completely correct or accurate

: having all the qualities you want in that kind of person, situation, etc.

Anyone really in a loving and committed relationship knows that love is not perfect at all.

How can love be perfect when the two people in love are not perfect themselves?

As a Christian, I believe that on this side of heaven I will never be perfect. I believe that my self absorption, my bitterness with others, my desire to be righteous like God is all so bad that it requires the penalty of Jesus’ dying on the cross in order for me to be right with God.

I believe in a gospel, the good news, that on this earth I will never be perfect but I am loved by my God – even with

my imperfections.

I am in process.

I am perfectly imperfect.

Actually I am perfecting.

perfecting: in process of becoming perfect or coming to completion

What I know now is in real life love is not perfect. Love on earth between two people is full of mistakes and blemishes. Love on earth is two flawed people choosing to live and love all the imperfections of one another.

There is a misconception of love in our culture. The idea of perfect love is not only on our screens and radios but it breeds in our expectant minds it is spewing out of our lips.

 “Oh, he is perfect” or “You are the perfect couple”.

Sure the idea of perfect love is in the movies but we are perpetuating it with our words.

Loving relationships are not perfect. They are perfecting. Love is the perfect moments mixed in with the refining – imperfect ones. I can tell you with certainty I love my husband more now than I did when I met him. Sure he was charming back then and always on his best behavior but in perfecting love I get to be alongside him as he grows and changes into the better verison of who God is making him to be.

Perfecting love can be tough.

Perfecting love is a love that grows.

Perfecting love goes through seasons of giddiness, gladness, anger, sadness.

Perfecting love experiences disappointment.

Perfecting love dwells in the colder seasons knowing that a new season will come.

Perfecting love makes us better men and women as we walk alongside one another and experience a front row seat in the perfecting process of one another.

holding hands

Truth connection:

I want you to go back to that image of Ryan Gosling soaking wet at your front door with a bouquet of flowers. (Hard to go there I know)

I want you to know it is right to desire this kind of perfect love where from the beginning you are sought after and constantly pursued with a never giving up always and forever kind of love.

I want you to know this kind of love exists but we look for it in a man on earth when this never giving up always and forever kind of pursuing love is actually found in God.

Perfect love is only found when we find it nailed to a cross. Crazy I know but true. The idea of a man loving you so much that he would die for you originated with God. We are hard wired to long for perfect love. You just won’t find it in a boyfriend, fiancé or spouse.

I hope you never find perfect love in any earthly man. I wish you will find perfecting love. The kind of love committed to the process of you being made perfect over a lifetime of some of the coldest and warmest seasons.

And I hope you do not find perfect love anywhere else but on a cross – where a God that loves you so much He died for you. He pursued you. He is still pursing you. He is where you find the man soaking wet on your doorstep pursing you with a never giving up always and forever kind of love.

I hope you don’t find perfect love in anything else but Him.

Romans 5:8

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us.